What was and what is not yet.
That’s where I am.
And I don’t like it.
I want to be there.
There is where I know what to do with my creativity and my efficiency and my detail-oriented eyes that also see a bigger picture.
There my nurturing nature is channeled freely and I am giving to people who want what I have to give. There I know what that is and I know who they are.
There I am inspired into meaningful action daily, that contributes to my wellbeing and the wellbeing of those I serve. When I am there I feel connected, aligned, lit-up, fulfilled, on-purpose and right where I need to be.
There.
We’ve all been there.
And we’ve all been there—longed for the frustration and anxiety and discomfort of not-knowing to end and be replaced with the comfort and peace of certitude and knowing.
I so want to be there.
But I’m not.
And I don’t even feel like I’m close.
Reading back through my journal this morning in my own messy scrawl I saw that I am here—in the messy middle—and have been for months.
And I’m pretty sure that if I went back through a few more journals I would see pages more of desperate pleas to escape here and get to there.
I know better of course…but seems I have forgotten.
Back on Sunday April 14 there is a reference to a card drawn from a deck rich with wisdom called Peace Oracle.
The card’s title: Creation.
And the line I have quoted: Every act, no matter how small, is one of creation.
Pondering this pearl this morning my mind drifted back to an entry in Find Your Way called Live with Purpose1.
And I realise that not only have I addressed the dilemma of being not-yet-there through a few entries, I even titled that chapter—Chapter 3—Lead with Purpose.2
Ok—cloud of misery is dissipating as I read the chapter blurb and smile at my own forgetfulness.
Purpose is not just about the big picture or the meaningful goal. Every day we have the opportunity to live and lead with purpose.
And let me list a few of the entry titles for when were not-yet-there:
Just do today
Accept what is
Meaning matters
Your life needs you
Look for the good
You are the solution
Ok…picture received, downloaded and installed:
there is now. there is nowhere but here.
Certainty is a false comfort—true comfort is being here now knowing and trusting that the answers I seek will arrive in their own time on their own terms.3
In fact, I think there is another entry in Find Your Way about that : ))
Three years ago when I published Find Your Way I thought I was there.
And then another there beckoned.
And now that I’ve lost my way Find Your Way is helping me find my way back to the truth:
that even in the messy middle—even though I’m not-there yet—I can lead and live with purpose…daily, hourly, now.
I have recorded the full entry - you can listen to it via the bar at the top of this post : )
Something to journal on:
Where am I - here, there, or not-yet-there? How do I know this? What emotions tell me where I’m at? What circumstances show me? What is ‘there’ for me? Is there anything I could think or do differently that would help me be here?